“Change my name!” Says my 7 year old. “No…” I replied, trying not to take it personal.
“Why do you love that name so much?” He asks in frustration. As I searched for an answer, I couldn’t help but remember I never liked my name either.
I daydreamed of having someone else’s name. Throughout elementary school, I wanted people to call me other names. I was Lena in Jr. High.
Even as recently as a few weeks ago I changed my username on different platforms.
When I told people my name, some would respond with “Ugh that is such an old person’s name!” That didn’t really help matters.
My son went as far as calling his dad asking why he agreed to name my little boy. When daddy said something little boy didn’t want to hear, he hung up on him and slammed his iPad down on the bed in frustration.
He tried asking me one more time, why I named him even though he already knew the answer.
The story has been told countless times.
I was watching a movie with my older son for the trillionth time, and was drawn to the name.
Honestly, I thought he would be flattered I mean, he was named after a king.
But I can’t say I don’t know how he feels.
When I was a little girl, I always told myself that when I was of age, I would change my name.
I imagined different names, such as Emily and Leah. Anything but my actual name.
Now I have gotten to the point where I have accepted the name I was given.
My mother did name me after a Spanish singer after all.
When people give me grief, some even telling me they refuse to call me by my first name, I tell them “Hey, this is my name. If you don’t like it, I don’t know what to tell you.”
In high school, I was in French class. The first day of school, we were told by the teacher that part of our participation in class was to choose a French name. I chose from a long list of names, and just like that, I was Celen.
I felt like another person, really. It was nice to step out of my reality and into a French girl’s life for a while. I even had a cat named Fomage, which means cheese in French. To this day I change my username on different online platforms, simply because it feels nice to be a different username, although I get grief 9 times out of 10.
I have other names though. Beashi is one of them. I’m also known as Sky, and Panda. So there, I have options if you don’t like my actual name.
I still don’t know what to tell my kid. He is still frustrated with me. But I’m sure he will be ok.
If he wants to change his name when he grows up, I will be sad, but won’t hold that against him.
